i miss.

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its almost unreal to think of what i've been through the past month. considering who i am; a clueless young adult who once never really give so much thought of what's his future is going to be like. 

reminiscing my undergrad days, is was all happy. even though at times we've so much to do in certain weeks, i could still slot times for basketball, gaming, lil bit of piano, and hang out. or i could just wonder around driving aimlessly. i miss going out late night with dad. i can talk about anything and he never fails to respond. he talks to me like i'm his friend, yet acknowledging me as a kid when i'm not in the mood. sorry dad.

i spent so much time on the road listening to Nouman Ali Khan's tafseer on Juz 'Amma while driving, and i never fail to look up the distant sky, trying to connect His powerful words with His creations. i miss that moment. i miss driving to the library and just being so passionate on getting my homework done. i miss driving to the gym for basketball practice and games over the weekend, working hard to be better.

that's what i call living life. though at times i wish i have someone i can really share things with. but the more i walk, the more i see the world, the more complicated my thoughts become, and the more i find it difficult to find such person who can crack up my brain open.

what if i decided not come here? what if i choose to stay at the bottom where i sank. what if i choose not to raise my head up high? what if i choose to live the simplest life, so long i think i'm happy.

because He has plans for me. He knows what i can endure. He knows i'm capable of something bigger and He wants to give me more. that's why He gave me the chance to look at the world i thought i already knew. #notetoself

a glimpse of heaven at Ty Cerrig, North of Wales.

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