just wanna shake it off real quick.
4 years ago, i underestimated the IB exams. i thought it was SPM all over again. the guy who thought he was good in physics, yet answered βeta-particle as a sterilizing agent but still got away with an A. i thought partial understanding was enough. in fact my whole life i never fully understood anything; disillusioning myself that i was going to pass and was even convinced by it! my head was busier thinking about celebrating than studies. guess i was too carefree. always am.
but life isn't a movie. it's not what we always dreamt it to be, not without any effort. and failing was awful. especially when your relatives never stopped bugging and asking. lucky enough i still have like 10 friends who don't judge me at the time.
next week is my final exam. 4 papers that kinda determines the outcome of this degree. all the efforts, the sleepless nights etc. it all comes down to this. to be honest if i got a job offer by now i wouldn't be too worried about it. problem is, i don't.
i'm turning 25 later this year and i think i'm mature enough to know the difference between fantasy and reality. no more delusions. the future holds infinite possibilities and i wouldn't constrain it, not to myself. if you're reading this, do make du'a for me for my upcoming exams and hopefully we all benefit from it, insyaAllah
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